How to stop caring what people think about you? This is a great question and believe me, knowing the answer would have saved me from a ton of headache back in time. Luckily, I’ve cracked the code and found some effective tips to deal with this problem.
In this post, I’ll share some valuable insights and actionable steps. Just to make sure you can learn how to stop caring what people think about you. I’ll add some stories too so you can really get a hang of it.
In the end, I’ll share the ultimate solution to this, so stay tuned! Let’s get started.
Caring about what others think
This urge for approval can take many forms. But it always has something in common. If you care too much about what people think about you, you want their approval. You want them to accept you. Their compliments are like a drug. They give you a fleeting moment of pleasure until it wears off and you want more.
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This becomes very detrimental in the long run. Changing your values and behavior just to be accepted ruins your self-esteem and shatters your authenticity. In the worst case, people see this and start to manipulate you.
How to not care what people think about you
If you want to stop caring what people think about you, you need to shine light on the reasons why this happens. And why it shouldn’t happen. Seriously, think about it.
Changes are they don’t know you, they don’t know what you’ve been through, and so on. They’re not qualified to judge you. Why would you judge a book by its cover?
Sure, the cover gives some information but it’s only a part of the picture. Only you know yourself entirely. You know why you have a certain trait. You know why you were acting weird some day. You know why you like certain things.
If someone dislikes you or judges you because of something normal, they’re just dumb.
You like playing Minecraft and someone thinks you’re a nerd? So what? Maybe you want to become an architect who likes to design builds and makes a living with that.
Someone thinks you’re weird because you’re shy? So what? Maybe you suffer from social anxiety and you’re working on that.
See, they are not qualified to judge you. Their opinions don’t mean shit. If they judge you because of something that doesn’t hurt anyone, they’re simply dumbasses and not worth your concern.
Stop caring what people think about you by understanding them
A great way to stop caring what people think about you is to look deep into their minds. Often, you’ll find many stupid and childish reasons. After this, it’s easier to not take them seriously. Let’s take a look at a few common ones.
Are they only joking?
Sometimes people like to joke and tease without meaning anything bad. And sometimes people misunderstand them and get offended. This happens very often and I’ve seen it several times.
If you believe someone dislikes you, ask yourself why do you think that way? Maybe they tease you and crack jokes without meaning anything bad. If a certain person does this to many people, chances are it’s nothing personal.
For example, I have one friend who does this sometimes. And I’m 100% fine with that because I know he doesn’t mean anything bad. I think he’s an awesome person.
I get it. Sometimes it can be frustrating and if it bothers you, call them out. But this issue naturally solves itself when you develop a thick skin and inner confidence. In fact, doing this helps you to stop caring what people think about you anyways.
This is a common trait especially with younger people. Someone puts other people down to look better. Quite pathetic.
Imagine this: A middle school average Joe is spending time with his friends. Those guys like to compare with superficial things and act tough. Preying on weaker people is their hobby.
If this guy has trouble with his self-esteem and needs validation, it’s easier to channel insults onto someone else. It makes sure he doesn’t become a target. His little ego gets a buff when he can call out something that he’s better at than you.
Obviously, you shouldn’t take those guys seriously. Someone who puts you down in front of his friends is pathetic. They can’t feel good without feeding their ego. They’re desperate for external validation. Living a life that way is way more painful than getting insulted.
Can you spot this from someone who dislikes you?
Too immature to accept something
We’re all humans with different traits and interests. Some of us like to do sports and party, and some of us like to read and play video games. Some of us are shy, and some are noisy.
We all have traits that someone could find slightly annoying. That’s because we’re humans. You don’t need to like everyone but you need to tolerate them.
If someone can’t stand you because you like XYZ or have XYZ, it’s their problem. They’re too immature to accept it. Don’t take them seriously.
Secondly, this is a trait of a loser. If you bother yourself or insult someone because of something like this, you’re a loser. Why? Because you use all your energy to pull them down, instead of improving your own life.
Winners focus on themselves. If you have a friend who likes video games and you think they’re stupid, so what? Let them do their thing and keep doing yours. It doesn’t affect your life.
Anyone who dislikes you because you’re “annoying” or “weird” and calls you out because of it is a moron. When you dig deep into these reasons, you’ll find that under the swallow cover, there’s a harsh truth. Those guys are simply not worth your concern.
Whether it’s boosting their fragile ego or being too dumb to accept differences, it’s their problem. Their life will be painful as long as they have those traits. Rather than getting upset, you should feel sorry for them and focus on yourself. They watch your every move so give them a nice show where you succeed and they don’t.
Stop caring what people think about you by investigating their motives deeply
Oh boy, I have lots of stories about how this trick has helped me. It has even made some of the cases funny.
I remember when I spend a lot of time with a friend of mine who had a jealous boyfriend. He kept telling my friend that she shouldn’t because I was “weird” etc. I knew him and he used to be a part of the guys who kept a big noise.
Did I get upset? No. I knew that he was insecure and tried to make me look bad because of it. He didn’t trust his girlfriend and his ego was too big. That’s a painful way to live.
He thought he was better than me, even though he was the one trying to prove something. I couldn’t take him seriously. I just kept doing my thing.
A while ago I created some TikTiok videos to learn how to share these tips in front of a camera. As we all probably know, TikTok is a pretty low-IQ platform, so there were haters.
Funny enough, pretty much all of them were anonymous users, hating on someone whose goal is to make the world a better place.
I tried to visualize the moment they post hate comments and here’s my vision: A weak soyboy, scrolling TikTok to avoid his homework, not having the balls to give criticism with his own face. Hating on someone who actually puts effort into his goals and likes to help people.
If you want to stop caring what people think about you, investigate their motives. When you learn some basics of true confidence and follow the rabbit hole, the truth is harsh. They’re not worth your time. They’re losers. They hate you because of all kinds of stupid reasons and their egos stop them from being successful.
Can you train yourself to not care what others think?
Yes. You can. It may take a little while, but it’s 100% worth it. It’s not rocket science. For some people it can be as simple as realizing that they don’t have to. Others may have to do little more work. Bu as I said, it’s all worth it.
How to stop caring what people think about you – The ultimate cure
We all have our ways to see ourselves, others, and the world around us, This is called our frame. That frame is formed by different beliefs that we have. A belief is an idea that you’re very certain about.
If you want to stop caring what people think about you, the number one rule is to develop a good, strong frame. When you have it, you see yourself as a valuable person. When your frame is strong, others’ opinions can’t break it. Even if they disagree with you.
A good frame of yours could have these beliefs:
- I have strenghts and flaws just like everyone, so judging me because of my flaws is stupid.
- Anyone disliking me for no reason is their problem. It’s not worth my attention.
- I don’t need to prove myself to anyone. I focus on myself.
- Haters go nowhere in life because they focus on others. I even feel sorry for them.
A strong frame makes sure that you stick to these beliefs. Even when someone tries to change them. Even if they challenge you, you maintain these beliefs which shows up in your communication.
If there’s a certain person who dislikes you, think about why are they doing it. Use the tips I mentioned before. Seriously, think about it and let it sink in.
If you need to, learn some basics of confidence and social skills. This knowledge helps you to have new ideas. Those ideas will become your new beliefs which creates a good frame. Just take some time to let them sink in.
The ultimate solution
Should you try to change their opinions? Well, no. But there’s a catch. See, when someone who dislikes you sees that you stop caring what people think about you, they sense your confidence.
Often, this boost in your confidence demonstrates high value, which makes them respect you more! The key is to stop caring. When you stop caring, you ironically make the change you always wanted to.
This may not happen always. Some people have decided to dislike you and their frame is strong (and stupid). But who cares? Your own approval is all you need. As I said before, haters go nowhere in life. Don’t try to save people who don’t want salvation. Don’t waste time on losers because you have more important stuff to do.
So, here’s the formula to stop caring what people think about you in a nutshell:
- Learn the basics of their psychology and why they’re not worth your time.
- Form a positive frame based on that information and let it sink in.
- Let that show up in everything you do and enjoy the results.
Sure, focusing on superficial things that demonstrate high value works, but you should never do it for them. You should do it for your own convenience.
Don’t try to prove yourself to people who dislike you. It signals that you can be manipulated. Focus on yourself and let that flip the script.
How to stop caring what people think about you? – Summary
There you have it. A guide to stop giving too much attention to others’ opinions. This is a great way to level up your life, so I suggest working on it.
It’s not about how others see you. It’s about how you see yourself. Having a strong frame is a superpower. You can turn all kinds of stuff to your advantage. The world gives you the same judgment than you give yourself. This is why changing your life starts from you, not others.
Actually, even knowing this is a superpower. The fact that you know this should give you a buff in your self-esteem. You can control how the world treats you by controlling how you see yourself.
As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask! Drop a comment or shoot me an email. I will see you in the next post.