If you want to be confident and live your best life, you MUST realize the concept of quiet confidence. What is quiet confidence? Why is it so important when you build confidence? Today, I’d like to break down this topic.
Confidence is a fascinating characteristic. Implementing it the wrong way can cause serious problems. Problems like low self-esteem and misery. The right way, however, can skyrocket every area of your life and make you unrecognizable.
If you want to learn how to do the second one, you’re in the right place. In today’s article, I’ll tear down some myths, and tell you more about quiet confidence.
Above all, I’ll share how to use it in your life, avoiding the newbie mistakes that can cause serious problems. The strategies in this article are battle-tested in my life. So, take a nice position and read on.
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What is quiet confidence?
Let’s start by determining some aspects of confidence. After that, we’ll dive deeper. There are many ways to determine confidence, but it’s basically a feeling or belief of having faith in something.
When people talk about confidence, they often mean self-confidence, which means trusting in your own abilities and judgment.
Confidence can take many forms in different situations, but here’s my favorite way to determine it:
Being confident means that you can enter a situation, knowing that you’ll be fine in the end, regardless of the outcome.
Imagine this principle in your everyday situations. It’s easier to be confident when doing something risky if you know that you can deal with negative outcomes.
Anyway, back to the quiet confidence. It means that you can practice, implement, and display confidence quietly. You don’t need to brag, compare, or do anything like that. You maintain the confidence inside of you without needing to prove it.
It’s about rising above the external pressures. You don’t give a shit what someone thinks about you. You don’t need to prove yourself to gain validation, because your own is enough.
Why is quiet confidence attractive?
Remember when I talked about the right and the wrong way to build confidence? The right way is quiet confidence. See, when you focus on yourself, you’ll anchor your confidence and self-esteem into you. It’s something you can control.
If you rely on comparing and external factors, they’ll betray you. Someone will eventually perform better and put you in your place. After that, you’ll feel miserable.
On top of that, other people find quiet confidence very attractive. It signals that you’re OK with yourself and you don’t need anything from anyone. Also, displaying your capabilities like it’s not a big deal is great. It shows that you’re both confident and capable.
In the end, true confidence comes from inside. It’s about rock-hard core beliefs that determine how you see yourself and make it apparent. This makes the world around you treat you accordingly.
Thus, practicing quiet confidence is crucial, if you want to be confident. It has the potential to flip the script and change your life. So, let’s see how you can do that:
How to develop quiet confidence
In this article, I’ve got 8 tips that you can use to develop quiet confidence. Using them effectively comes down to changing your mindset.
The first thing you need to do is to read them and let them sink in. See, when you realize something new, it may take some time to process it. Therefore it may be a good idea to take some quiet time, read these tips again, or make a mindmap. Anything that helps you to realize the bigger picture.
Secondly, you must try these tips in your life. Let’s say you meet someone who brags about something. You’ve learned the basics of quiet confidence, so you can recognize that he’s trying to prove himself and he’s insecure.
This helps you to stay confident in yourself. You know that you don’t need to compare and he’s the one who’s building confidence the wrong way. Thus, you can’t take him seriously and you don’t waste your time, proving something to him.
This is how you must see how the principles work in your life. It may take some time, but it will pay off. Now, let’s start with the tips:
#1 Be on your own mission
A great way to train your confidence is to become a person on their own mission. You’re executing your vision and path, and don’t give a shit what’s going on on the side. You have a deeper, more important goal.
For example, when I’m writing this post, I’m talking to a girl on Tinder. Taking her out would be cool, but it’s never guaranteed. However, I have more important stuff to do. I’m writing this article to provide you with these tips and grow my blog. That’s my mission. That’s my purpose.
Whether I’ll take the girl out or not, I’ll still write this post. It’s something I can control. Even if she doesn’t agree, I got a bigger mission. This makes me carefree and confident.
If you form a similar sense of a bigger purpose, little inconveniences become irrelevant. You’ll be on your own journey, which makes them secondary. You’ll become immune to external, superficial things. You got more important stuff to do than compare, or care about other people.
The best thing is, your bigger mission can be anything that excites you enough.
#2 Becoming secure with your flaws
Accepting flaws can be tough for some people. I get that. A certain bully may have bullied you because of them. Or, maybe you have high demands for yourself (that’s me).
However, accepting them is crucial for quiet confidence. When you’re secure with your flaws, you don’t need to hide them or blame them on others. You can just be yourself without trying to prove anything.
I’ve seen guys who react emotionally when their flaws occur. Don’t do that. It signals insecurity and means that you’re not confident inside. Once you learn to accept your flaws and form that belief, this will change.
How to accept your flaws
Back in time, I had to do some inner work to accept my flaws. To be honest, I still need to practice it sometimes. However, here are some tips that I’ve used to accept them.
Firstly, remember that we all have flaws. We’re humans. It’s natural for us and we’re hardwired to screw up sometimes. The reason other people seem to do great is that nobody likes to make flaws apparent. They rather embrace their strengths.
“B b but wait! That one guy is always “living their best life” on Instagram!”
Bullshit. Nobody has a perfect life. We tend to pay more attention to things we dislike. We all have something we wanted to be better. We all have made mistakes that we don’t like to share. Never let shallow covers fool you. Especially in social media…
Secondly, it’s not about your flaws. It’s about how you see yourself with them and deal with them. Take action to improve yourself. Carry out yourself with dignity, maintaining a strong belief that it’s OK to have flaws, and people will sense your confidence.
In the end, accepting your flaws comes down to two things:
- Realize that we all have more flaws than it seems. It’s OK to have them.
- Remember that it’s about how you see yourself and carry out yourself.
Try writing down ten things you hate about yourself. Admit them to yourself and see how you feel. This is a good confidence-building exercise.
#3 Don’t compare yourself
Comparing yourself is a recipe for misery and insecurity. We all have something we’re great at and something we suck at. Outperforming someone gives a temporary boost of confidence, but it will betray you.
This anchors your confidence outside of you, and eventually, someone will perform better than you. On top of that, truly confident people will see through that and feel sorry for you.
Instead, focus on yourself. Don’t think you’re better or worse than others. Just remember that you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone. Check out the previous tips to amplify this belief.
We’re all in the same line. Superficial traits don’t mean shit. We all have strengths and flaws. You only need to compare yourself to what you were yesterday. Rising above the worthless comparing builds your quiet confidence like crazy.
#4 Learn to spot fake confidence
If you want to develop quiet confidence, you need to learn how to spot the opposite. See, some people use different toxic techniques to appear confident.
These techniques include comparing, bragging, putting other people down, faking yourself, and so on…
To maintain your inner confidence, learn to see through that shallow cover. If someone compares or brags, it signals that they need external validation. Thus, they’re insecure morons.
Putting other people down is pathetic. Imagine a typical bully/hater. They attack weaker people to feel good about themselves or act tough. They use unfair advantages. Anything from outnumbering you to fake accounts on social media. They don’t have the guts to be honorable.
When you see behavior like this, track it down. Figure out where it’s coming from. It usually tells more about them than you. Realizing this entirely helps you to deal with haters. I’ve used this principle when a guy disliked me and it was even funny. I couldn’t take him seriously.
#5 Be humble like a wolf but proud like a lion
This can be tricky sometimes. Confident people are proud, of course, but they also know when to be humble. Being humble like a wolf but proud like a lion describes quiet confidence well.
From one perspective, you need to be humble. Accept that you’re bad at something and there’s always something you can learn. When you commit mistakes, admit them, and fix them. Even when it hurts your ego.
On the other hand, be proud like a lion. Embrace your strengths and carry out yourself with dignity. Don’t brag, but demonstrate high capability when you can do it conveniently.
Admit your mistakes but don’t let them lower your self-esteem. (See tip #2). You shouldn’t give a dam what other people think about you unless they’re very close to you and have a good point. Most people don’t know your background, so don’t let them judge you.
This is what being humble like a wolf and proud like a lion is about. You need to realize when to be humble and when to stand up, even if it offends someone.
#6 Understanding the true power of quiet confidence
This is definitely one of the biggest lessons in self-development there is. Maybe even the biggest. When you understand and execute this entirely, everything you touch turns into gold. You’ll walk through life with ease.
It’s this: The world treats you as you treat yourself.
When you master this principle and form a rock-hard, positive belief in yourself, you’ll change your reality. Realizing this helps you in many ways. Even if you have some insecurity, you can remember that other people’s reactions to you will depend on you.
Shape your actions in a way that carries out confidence, knowing that it will affect other people. When you know that you have the ability to change the world around you, you’ll be more confident. The positive reactions from others will amplify this positive feedback loop.
This goes with everything. Accept your mistakes like they’re not a big deal, be calm under pressure, anything where you can display high confidence.
Don’t fake it, but remember that the world around you treats you as you treat yourself. Realizing this helps you to boost your confidence and deal with challenges.
This is also why quiet confidence that comes from inside is so important. It has to start with you. Create a positive opinion about yourself, and distribute it, knowing that you can change your reality that way.
#7 Constant evolution
This is a great way to amplify the first tip. Whatever you do, you should always be improving. Consider each day an opportunity to move you just a little closer to your goals. Eventually, they’ll stack up and bring the results.
Constant evolution is a great way to develop quiet confidence because it gives you a sense of pride and purpose. You’ll become a person with high standards, moving towards success.
Implement constant evolution into everything that you do. Fitness, health, happiness, dating, career, social life, anything!
#8 Boost your quiet confidence with healthy egoism
Confident people aren’t arrogant, but they’re proud. A good way to do this is to practice healthy egoism. You’ve learned that comparing and bragging is worthless and you’re all equal.
However, the fact that you understand these principles, stick to your mission and improve constantly, makes you a “next level” person. When it comes to the right mentality, you’re in the top 1%.
Seeing yourself as a commander who dominates their life helps you to ramp up your quiet confidence. Don’t brag or compare, but enjoy the benefits of confidence that not all people know.
Quiet confidence – Summary
There you have it. My guide about quiet confidence and how to use it. I hope you found this post valuable. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
If all this is new to you, don’t worry. It will sink in eventually. And once it does, you’ll take your life to the next level. Just like I did, using these principles.
Anyways, thanks for reading. I’ll see you next time!