How to overcome fear of failure

by Veikko Arvonen // May 2 // 1 Comments
Overcoming fear of failure is an important skill

Probably all of us have tried to figure out about how to overcome fear of failure at some point. Whether it’s something big like starting a business or something smaller like standing out in a social event. We don’t want to experience negative consequences like embarrassment or judgment.

I took the time to think about what makes failure look so bad in our minds and I have to say it’s pretty interesting. Let’s say you’re asking for someone’s number and get rejected. You may think that there’s something wrong with you or that they’re going to spread rumors about you. All that isn’t actually that bad.

Many people have this stupid idea that failing is embarrassing and they like to judge people when they are trying something new or unique. And as you guessed, they never try it themselves.

If you can relate to anything I just said, my goal with this article is to completely change the way you see failure. How to destroy your limiting beliefs and why failing can actually be a good thing. And most importantly, how to stop wasting the opportunities that life offers you.




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The truth about failure and rejection, how the successful people see it.

A man who's an alpha male
This man knows how to overcome fear of failure

If you want to learn how to overcome fear of failure, you have to master your mindset. The first thing I want you to realize is that achieving anything in life includes a chance to fail. That’s why it’s inevitable to face the possibility to fail if you want to get anywhere in this life. That’s the truth. So why should you try to avoid that possibility at all costs?

Therefore it’s completely dumb to think that there’s something bad about failure. Failure doesn’t define your worth or potential. It means that you’re trying something new and you’re learning. Whatever you do, you’re going to suck the first time. If you want to achieve anything, you have to go through those first stages of learning, where failure is inevitable.

You should see failure as feedback that you found something that didn’t work. It means that you have gained experience and knowledge that you can use later to succeed. People who fail aren’t worse than others. I could actually say that they’re better than others because they’re willing to pursue something rewarding and accept the risk of failure. I guess you got the point although I don’t believe anyone is better than others.

Do not fear failure, judgment, or rejection. Be afraid of wasting opportunities and never knowing. The most important thing is to never take failure personally and learn from mistakes. This is how you can master anything in life. Imagine what you could achieve if you weren’t afraid to fail.

Fear of failure as a part of success

Fail your way to success

Many people see failure as the opposite of success. And if you look at your life that way, it may become your reality. It’s all about how you see your failures and whether you learn from them or not. If you see failure as a sign that you can’t do it, you probably won’t succeed. But if you see the failure as a great lesson and feedback, you can use it to your advantage.

Therefore failure isn’t the opposite of success. It’s a part of success. The opposite of success is giving up. Now keep that in mind. A famous Canadian millionaire Dan Lok said that you shouldn’t be afraid of failure, you should be afraid that you haven’t failed enough!

See, succeeding in anything in life is about putting an effort to learn new skills and letting your results give you feedback. Therefore you have to learn how to overcome fear of failure to succeed in anything. Usually, there’s a lot of failure before success. Failure tells you the honest truth about what you did wrong and it’s the best teacher out there.

If you both learn from your mistakes and keep trying again and again, you’ll eventually succeed in anything that you do. Ask yourself, Is this how you’re seeing failures in your life? If not, I recommend to change your beliefs and stick with this article.

Think about the most successful people on the planet. If you could see them before their success, you’d probably see tons of failures and unbelievable consistency. They become famous after they succeed.

The media and news have done an excellent job convincing people that only a few lucky ones are meant to succeed. They show you Eminem on stage but they don’t show you his incredibly tough past. They show you Robert Downey Jr as the Iron man but they don’t show you him practicing intensively for his audition and recovering from drug addiction.

Are you starting to figure out how stupid the common beliefs about failure are? Are you starting to figure out why failure is not a bad thing?

Preparing for the worst

Example of how to be tougher
Calculate your risk

If you know that you can handle the worst possible outcome, you’ll instantly find it easier to overcome your fear of failure. Now when you have demolished your limiting beliefs about failure, it’s time to take a look at some things you can do to prepare for failing. Although failure is not a bad thing, it may have some negative consequences. You may lose money when starting a business campaign that fails or you could end up in an awkward social situation.

You should always calculate the risks and consider the negative outcome. Then ask yourself if it’s actually that bad. Losing $1000 in business sucks, but you can make that money back fairly quickly. You can always make more money but not time to use it for new opportunities! And if you happen to ask a girl’s number and she tells that she has a boyfriend, so what? You are putting yourself out there to improve your life!

Usually, the worst case scenario is not as bad as you think. All the negative consequences that failure has, can be dealt with pretty easily and will be forgotten. 

See, learning and improving is a mess. When you’re taking action to improve your life in any way, there will always be situations that you screw up completely and people who get offended.

That’s life! Don’t be afraid to fail. Calculate the risks, put yourself out there, and keep improving. You’ll either succeed or have a phenomenal lesson. With the right mindset, you cannot lose!

How to overcome fear of failure and rejection with confidence and self-respect

Even a lion fails sometimes, but he doesn’t care if sheep laugh at him

Pay attention, because this is the biggest lesson in life that I’ve ever learned. Whatever you do and whatever strengths and flaws you have, all that matters is how you see yourself and how you carry out yourself in different situations. When you do this well, the other people will see that and they start to see the same way regardless of your looks, money, or anything like that.

The way you use this to your advantage when facing a failure is simple. If you have to deal with negative consequences, just remember that failing is not a bad thing and you just gained skill and knowledge due to your failure. If other people start teasing you or things are about to get awkward, just act like there’s nothing special in that situation.

Let’s say that you’re asking a girl’s number (Yeah I really like to use this example…) and she tells you that she has a boyfriend. Instead of freezing and starting to apologize just say “Ok I understand, although I’d really like to see his reaction when you receive a message from me” with a playful tone. I don’t care and you shouldn’t care if she finds it rude or awkward. All that matters is that you feel great and have fun. And once you feel like that, the odds of the other people feeling the same are significantly higher.

This is just one example. Feel free to imagine how you could handle all kinds of failures using this principle. Apply this technique whenever you have to and failing becomes less and less scary.

Putting all this in action to overcome fear of failure

Experiencing the benefits of waking up early
Open up yourself for new possibilities

Although you’re armed with useful knowledge and techniques to destroy your fear of failure, that’s only half of the picture. Now it’s time to put these tips into action!

I don’t care how much knowledge you have. The first time you’re actually trying something using these principles will be intimidating. You will feel nervous, and the only way to overcome this problem is to put yourself out there and practice. Don’t get stuck inside your head. When you see an opportunity, just go for it. 

The moment just before the beginning (five seconds before starting to talk to a girl or the moment just before starting a new business training online) is the worst. But when you just take action, you’ll notice that the pressure will relieve immediately.

This is a skill that you’ll have to learn yourself through repetition. It’s about developing a habit that when you see an opportunity, you’ll go for it! And you don’t give a shit what other people are tripping at you because you know that failing is better than regretting wasted opportunities.

One important thing is to accept your failures. You may end up thinking too long when seeing an opportunity and therefore wasting it. Or you may end up making a social situation awkward because the words just don’t come out. All this is OK. It has happened to everyone (including me) who have forgotten their ego and started improving themselves.

Just like mastering any other skill, it will require practice. Therefore, don’t be too hard on yourself. Learn from your mistakes and enjoy the success. 

Final thoughts

I hope this article has changed the way you see failure. Many people have goals and dreams they wanted to pursue, but they let their limiting beliefs hold them back. Do not be one of them, because you have more potential than you think!

The life is full of opportunities and it’s you responsibility to go and get them. Just remember the following: Failing is not a bad thing, it’s a part of the success. Whatever happens, just carry out yourself well and learn from your mistakes. And above all, understand that mastering the habit of going for opportunities will take time, but the fact that you know this is enough to put you ahead of most people.

These principles apply to any opportunity you can imagine. Whether it’s something big like starting an online business or something smaller like standing up in a social event. 

Hope you enjoyed, see you next time.

Veikko Arvonen is a blogger with a burning passion for self-development. In his blog, he shares battle-tested tips to become more confident, charismatic, attractive, and happier. Back in time, he got tired of being at the lower end of the pecking order and decided to change. Now, you can learn his lessons from this blog.