This is probably one of my favorite topics. How to increase your social status at school. Based on my experience, I can say that it can be challenging but very rewarding.
When I was in middle school, I was at the bottom. I had barely any friends, and some people enjoyed putting me down. However, I decided to change and eventually did it. I wanted to be popular at school.
During the past years of improving myself, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned what makes you respected and confident. I’ve discovered newbie mistakes that can screw you up badly. And I’ve discovered principles that can increase your social status at school fairly easily.
So, this article is a blueprint for you, if you want to be more popular at school. Middle-school, high school, college, works with all of them! So, take a nice position and enjoy. What you’re about to learn is based on my experiences from my teenage years.
How to become popular
Now there are some differences in middle school and college, but the principles are the same. I’ve seen that the older we get, the less superficial things tend to be. Also, people grow up and become more mature.
However, increasing your social status at school comes down to a simple principle: “Value”
If you want to be popular and liked, you must bring value to interactions. It can be good jokes, ideas that benefit all, or something else. Anything that brings value to everybody. When you do that, people like to be around you.
On the other hand, you must demonstrate value. If you display confidence, capability, and high status, people are more likely to take you seriously.
If I had to give one piece of advice to someone who wants to be popular at school, it would be about value.
I know, all this can feel intimidating. Especially if you’re very shy and insecure. Starting from the bottom can be very hard, but also the best thing you can do. Trust me, it’s completely possible.
When I started middle school, I was shy. I spent my time with the “quiet boys”, playing video games in the corner. If you’re one of these guys or just terrified of going out there, read carefully.
Becoming popular and increasing your social status at school requires practice. You’ll have to go there and socialize. However, it’s important to do some inner work first.
Developing a thick skin
Shy and insecure people tend to take things more personally than they should. People, especially in middle school, are notorious for teasing someone who displays weakness.
Thus, you must learn to deal with insults. Often, they’re not personal. Some guys may crack jokes about you without meaning anything bad. Some people may hate you, but that’s OK. Haters are losers.
When someone teases you, it’s important to not react emotionally. It means they’ve gotten under your skin. Your emotional reactions are the fuel that keeps your haters going.
Don’t take personally people who just tease you. When you build core confidence, it becomes easy. Also, learn some frame control. Above all, don’t react emotionally.
When it comes to haters, deal with them the right way. If you have haters, read my article about dealing with them by clicking here.
Becoming more popular by building confidence
Before going out there and socializing, I recommend learning some basics of confidence. The way I see confidence is this:
Being confident means that you can enter a situation, knowing that you’ll be fine in the end, regardless of the outcome.
If you have this belief, going out there becomes easier. Some people have a completely moronic picture of confidence, which can cause issues with mental health. Don’t be one of them, and learn the right one.
Firstly, realize that confidence starts with you. It’s not about bragging with cool clothes or dating a pretty girl. It’s about being OK with your current assets. Embrace your strengths and accept your flaws, knowing that we all have them.
If this sounds odd, check out my article about quiet confidence by clicking here. It gives you the right mentality.
Also, other people’s opinions don’t mean shit. It’s about how YOU see yourself and carry out yourself. You must develop a strong positive opinion about yourself. When you do that, it will reflect.
Other people will sense your confidence and respect you more when they realize that you don’t care if they like you or not.
Put yourself out there
Once you’ve done the inner work or are otherwise confident enough, it’s time to practice. When I was 15 years old, I had friends at school, but I wasn’t too popular. I was hanging out with a bunch of people, but almost no one outside my class knew about my existence.
What did I do? With a friend of mine, I started talking to new people. During the breaks, lunch, after school… I seized some moments to socialize with people I didn’t know.
I attended some events where I met even more people. Step by step, I had grown my social circle, met a new group of friends, and improved my social skills.
At that time, I had some knowledge about confidence and so on, so I could bring value to the interactions.
If you want to increase your social status at school, you must do the same. I recommend having a certain group of close, like-minded friends. Friends that like to improve themselves, but aren’t arrogant.
Don’t try to achieve everything immediately. Trying to be the coolest guy or girl immediately isn’t gonna work. Instead, work your way up there. Start by meeting people from smaller, less stressful circles and keep improving your social skills.
When you do this, you’ll naturally attract like-minded friends. When I was 15, I had a group of friends, but I slowly started spending time with a new group. That was because I had changed myself entirely, and hanging out with like-minded people felt more natural.
Those friends were a gateway to even bigger circles. My social skills kept improving and I was bringing and demonstrating more and more value. This process can take some time, but it’s well worth it.
Now that you know how to go out there, it’s time to look at some tips about value. First, I’ll share how to bring it, and later how to display it.
Social skills are crucial if you want to be someone people want to spend time with. When in a social situation, be a valuable person. Cracking good jokes and/or making people laugh is a great way to do so. Don’t be dry and boring.
Learning how to keep a conversation going is great. A great way to do this is to just say whatever comes to your mind. However, you must be congruent and passionate about what you talk about. Otherwise, you’ll appear unnatural and overtrying, which isn’t good. Don’t be afraid of occasional silences. They don’t become awkward unless you make them.
Telling good stories is also great. If something funny has happened, it’s a great way to bring value to the interaction. This is a great way to be charismatic.
In a nutshell, bring stories, jokes, topics, and ideas to interactions. When you’re a valuable person, people like to spend time with you. Don’t be that guy who never says anything and scrolls social media. If you want to increase your social status at school, you must bring something to interactions.
Leadership in social interactions can mean many things. It can be leading a project or coming up with ideas. Let’s say you’re trying to decide where to hang out. If you have a location in your mind, say it.
See, people respect someone who can take a lead and make decisions that benefit everyone. If you’re someone who has great ideas and the ability to take a lead, use that.
Don’t put other people down
This phenomenon is sadly common, especially in middle school. Young, arrogant guys putting others down to look good. That’s pathetic, and you shouldn’t do that.
Firstly, you’ll become an asshole. Nobody likes assholes. Being one can give you a temporary boost on social status, but it will eventually betray you. People will dislike you and you’ll regret it eventually.
Secondly, channeling problems to weaker people is for losers. If you need to put other people down to act tough or feel better, STOP IT IMMEDIATELY. It means that you don’t have inner confidence, which is a serious problem.
Truly confident people will see through your shallow cover. They’ll feel sorry for you. On top of that, some people can start to manipulate you. If they sense your lack of inner confidence, you’ll become an easy target.
Here’s what you should be doing: Leverage both yourself and others. Embrace your strengths and lift other people too. This brings tons of positive energy to your interactions. Just don’t shower everybody with compliments. Make sure they deserve them.
Whatever you do in life, you shouldn’t overtry. Especially when it comes to social skills. I’ve seen some guys doing this, and it rarely ends well. People who overtry are fake, and it will shine through.
Don’t try to force a conversation or clever joke. Don’t be a tryhard guy who needs to put on a show every time. Just be yourself. You don’t need to prove anything.
Focus on yourself and be natural. Sure, stepping out of your comfort zone or doing something cocky can work, but don’t force it. Don’t fake yourself because it will only hurt you. You shouldn’t act anything you’re not.
Again, focus on yourself and change yourself on a deeper level. This makes you confident, real, and congruent. That’s how you get the best results.
Now that you know how to bring value, it’s time to learn how to demonstrate it. There are many things you can do to command respect. When you earn that respect, you’ll gain some sweet benefits in your social life. People will take you more seriously, look up to you, and won’t mess with you.
A quick warning, however. When you start gaining social status, it’s easy to become arrogant and forget your old friends. The ones who were always there for you. Putting them down in front of the “cool guys” may be tempting, but don’t do it. If there’s someone you should put down, it’s haters.
Don’t lose yourself. Don’t become arrogant. Some people may test you and try to manipulate you. I’ve seen people becoming arrogant and creating a fake persona, just to please their new friends and deal with inner problems.
This will not create long-lasting respect. NEVER become a person who puts others down.
As superficial it is, your physical appearance plays a remarkable role. It’s not as important as inner confidence, but it still helps you a lot. People will make decisions about you based on shallow traits. You can either be upset about it or use it to your advantage.
Just remember, NEVER improve your appearance to impress other people. Do it for your own convenience. Trying to prove yourself to others is worthless.
Your appearance comes down to these basics:
- Physical fitness
This article isn’t about appearance so I’ll give the quick basics here. Exercise regularly and maintain a somewhat healthy nutrition. Get a fresh haircut every once in a while and groom your other body hair. Have some sense of style. Go to a local shopping center and get a fresh outfit.
It’s not rocket science. Put little effort into your appearance and you’ll gain some great benefits in the long run. Don’t be that guy who always wears the same T-shirt and sweatpants without deodorant.
If you want to increase your social status at school, there are many activities you can do. I remember the first time I went to a bigger event. All the big groups from many schools got together on a sports field and had fun.
That was where I could meet many cool people the first time outside the school. Just putting myself out there had a positive effect on my social status. It signaled that I was a part of the social circles and more people learned to know me.
You can do the same by leveraging different activities. Parties, extracurricular activities, sports teams… You name it! When you put yourself into events and manage to bring value, you’ll gain social status.
Imagine joining a sports team and becoming a great player. Or, being someone who arranges events. That’s going to add rocket fuel into your status.
Woah, this topic could be an entire category in a self-improvement blog like this. This is why I can’t give all the tips in one article, but I’ll share the basics. If you want to increase your social status at school or be popular, these are your greatest leverage points:
Confidence is crucial in anything you do, especially in social life. I already determined confidence earlier, so I’ll save some time here. Confidence is a characteristic that commands respect and value tremendously.
If you master unshakable confidence the right way, everything else will seem to improve naturally. For more information about confidence, click here.
To display high value, you must learn how to stay calm and non-reactive. When stressful situations occur, don’t freak out. Instead, think clearly and come up with a solution.
Don’t react emotionally or let people under your skin. When you do this, arrogant people lose their motivation to tease you. The best way to do this is to learn some frame control and master inner confidence.
Most of the communication between people is carried out non-verbally. Your body language and tonalities will bleed information. People who are scared of eye contact and act nervously aren’t as respected as people who stay calm and confident.
When you build inner confidence, this will fix itself naturally, but it doesn’t hurt to learn the basics of nonverbal communication.
Same principles. Just pay extra attention to developing thick skin because people at that age like to put other people down. This is because most confidence-related issues occur at this age. Thus, young, naive people use desperate tactics to boost their confidence.
One thing I want to say for everyone in middle school is this: Stop worrying so much about other people’s opinions. Instead, learn to build your confidence the right way.
In high school, people start to be more mature. If you’re at this age, use the tips from this article. Just be a cool, confident person who doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. Bring value to interactions and expand your social circle.
How to be popular at school?
Increasing your social status at school and being popular is somewhat complicated, but in a nutshell, remember the principle of value. Bring value to interactions. This makes you a person that people like to spend time with. Also, display value. This makes people respect you.
The bottom line
There you have it guys! A guide to increasing your social status at school. What you’ve read is a blueprint that I develop based on my experiences from my teenage years.
At the age of 13, I was a nobody. At the age of 18, I had large groups of friends and social status. The road can be rocky, but it’s worth it. By using these tips, you can avoid rookie mistakes and achieve great results in a fairly short time.
So, go out there and start your journey. Feel free to come back here anytime you want and read some more tips. I got your back, my friend.