How to deal with arrogant people? This is a valuable skill when it comes to social skills. Arrogant people can be found in many places. Have you had an arrogant classmate at school or an annoying co-worker? Probably yes.
In this article, I’ll share how to confront them and deal with them. Whether it’s someone who puts other people down or a bragging wanna-be alpha male, this guide helps you.
Arrogant people can be annoying, I know. But when you realize their true motives, you’ll rise above the worthless comparing. So, take a nice position, and prepare to put arrogant braggers back to their place.
Characteristics of an arrogant person
There are several characteristics of arrogant people. They range from bragging to putting other people down. Arrogant people have a so-called superior mentality. This means that they think they’re better than others. They rely on superficial traits and areas where they’re better than someone.
Bragging is a common sign of an arrogant person. They like to make their capabilities apparent, even when nobody asks about them. Achieving something is a big deal for them.
In the worst-case scenario, they put other people down and think they’re better. Why? Because they perform better at something. They think that superficial traits make them superior and they brag about it.
Another sign of an arrogant person is comparing. It can be about anything, but it’s usually something they’re good at. Comparing people prey on weaker guys who are beginners in something.
Arrogance takes many forms, but here’s one thing in common. Arrogant guys brag and believe in superiority. Even though they’re not superiors. More about that later.
11 ways to deal with arrogant people
There are many ways to deal with arrogant people. Some of them are about your inner game and frame. Your frame means how you see the world around you. Do you consider arrogant people superiors or just little kids who try to prove something?
1 Confidence vs. arrogance
To an untrained eye, arrogant people may seem confident. News flash: They’re not. True confidence is silent. Being confident means that you have a deep belief in your capabilities. You don’t need to brag about them. You don’t need to compare yourself to feel good.
Confidence is about being secure with internal validation. Your own approval is enough to keep you satisfied. On the other hand, arrogance relies on external validation.
Arrogant people want others to validate them. They seek validation by comparing and bragging. Getting admiration is the fuel that keeps them going.
Sometimes arrogant people seek this by putting others down, which is quite pathetic. If you need to put others down to feel good about yourself, you’re not confident. It means that your inner approval isn’t enough.
2 Deal with arrogant people by understanding their motives
Arrogance is a trait that signals insecurity. When you dig deep into an arrogant person’s motives you’ll find out the harsh truth. Being arrogant usually means one or more of these things:
- You need others’ approval to feel good about yourself
- You need to compare to feel like a valuable person
- You’re an asshole who enjoys putting others down
Take a time to let this sink in. Arrogance often signals insecurity. Arrogant people display fake confidence. Thus they’re fake and you shouldn’t take them seriously. I mean, can you take someone seriously who tries to prove something? Do you respect someone who has to display a fake persona to get validation? Exactly.
3 Modern hierarchy
Have you heard the terms “alpha male” and “beta male”? Maybe. When it comes to animals, the alpha male is the strongest individual. He’s the leader and commands respect. A beta male is a weak individual who doesn’t have alpha traits.
When it comes to humans, these structures exist. Kinda. A human alpha male isn’t the strongest individual physically. It’s about mental capabilities. Alphas are confident, determined, and calm. Betas, however, are insecure, indecisive, and sometimes arrogant.
A beta male doesn’t understand the true meaning of confidence, so he considers arrogant people superior. After all, they seem confident and decisive. An alpha male, however, understands that confidence is silent. It’s about being OK with yourself. Thus, alphas can’t take arrogant people seriously. They see through their shallow cover.
So, choose to position yourself above superficial comparing by understanding the modern hierarchy. Arrogant people aren’t alpha males. They’re wanna-be alphas who have a completely moronic view of reality.
If you take your time to learn some alpha traits, you’ll be on the top of the hierarchy pretty quickly.
4 Shiny things don’t mean anything
When I say shiny things, I mean anything superficial that signals high status. Physical fitness, fancy clothes, expensive cars, anything.
If you deal with arrogant people, you’ll probably face someone bragging about the shiny things.
The crucial thing to realize is that they don’t mean anything. It’s not about your superficial assets. It’s about how you carry out yourself.
Let’s say you go to the gym for the first time. An arrogant, beta male behemoth comes at you and starts bragging about his records. Do you consider him a better person? Or, do you see through his shallow cover? I mean, if someone has to brag to a newbie to feel good, there’s something seriously wrong.
Do you feel upset because you’re not as capable as him? Or, do you know that his hidden insecurity means that he’s a beta male? It doesn’t matter how good you are if you need to compensate your confidence by comparing. However, if you step into the gym, knowing that you don’t have to compare, you’re a cut above other people.
It’s all about how you see yourself. Not about shiny things. When dealing with arrogant people, remember that. After all, anyone could get jacked or buy a Gucci belt if it was important enough.
5 Deal with arrogant people by ignoring their frame
Let’s do a quick exercise: You’re minding your own business and doing your stuff. Whether it’s at work, school, gym, or anywhere. Suddenly, an arrogant person appears. He starts to brag about something random.
Chances are it’s something where he’s good at. Maybe better than you. So, how do you react? First of all, don’t step into his game. He has chosen a situation where he can brag about something he’s better at. He wants you to start comparing.
If you step into his stupid game, you’re on the losing side. He has chosen a field where he has the advantage. So, don’t show that you’re impressed because you shouldn’t be. Just treat him like it’s completely normal.
Know deep inside of you that you don’t have to compare. The fact that he has to brag and you don’t means that you’re on the winning side. Instead of stepping into his game, beat him in your game.
It’s quite funny. If you just let them brag, knowing the psychology behind it, it’s like a comedy show. An arrogant guy trying to desperately convince you, without succeeding.
6 Avoid arguments
When it comes to arguments and debates, the more frustrated person tends to lose. He who loses his cool is doomed to fail. The other one has gotten under his skin.
Use this to your advantage. Remember the arrogant person’s motives and stay unreactive. Don’t give him any emotional reaction. He’s trying to get it.
When you do this, the bragging guy ends up looking like a fool. It’s always satisfying to put arrogant people back in their place.
This is a key to good frame control. Instead of arguing back, stay unreactive. This signals that you’re confident enough to not compare. It’s the key to dealing with arrogant people.
7 Speak up if necessary
No matter how confident you are, sometimes arrogant people need a lesson. That’s when you can call them out. If they put other people down, it may be a good idea to show them who’s a boss.
You can ask an arrogant person why they’re bragging. Often, they’ll come up with a stupid reason. In fact, they may even freeze. They don’t want to admit that they’re seeking validation.
If they start to tell that they’re a better person, you can educate them about true confidence. If they get rude, you have a right to be rude too.
Tell them that you don’t give a dam about their accomplishments as long as they brag about them. It’s nothing impressive if they need to brag.
Maybe give them a nice comeback like “That’s cool, find someone who cares.”
Be cautious, however. You don’t want to spark a conflict for nothing. Don’t get emotional because that’s what they want. If you piss them off, they just get more annoying.
Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself, but often, it’s best to just ignore and enjoy the comedy. When you can’t take an arrogant person seriously, it’s fun to watch them brag.
8 Make them feel stupid
I know, it’s childish but sometimes you need to teach a lesson. Making an arrogant person feel stupid is a funny tactic that you can use sometimes.
For example, let’s say you confront an arrogant co-worker. He starts to brag and compare about his promotion. Act like it’s a big deal for a while, and give him sarcastic validation. He probably gets excited and tells more.
You keep asking questions and he thinks he got you. He believes that he has managed to impress you until you cut off the interaction.
Say something like, “Oh, you got promoted to a deputy director? I thought it was CEO. But don’t worry, maybe you’ll get there one day.”
At this point, you’ve wasted his energy and he ends up feeling like a fool. Again, don’t be rude, but feel free to tease an arrogant person. Especially if he deserves it.
Just act like you’re impressed, knowing that you don’t have to compare. Eventually, blast it to their face that you don’t actually care.
9 Deal with arrogant people by teasing them
Teasing arrogant people in their own game can be quite fun. For example, let’s get back to the gym example. Here’s the scenario:
Let’s say you’ve read my blog for a month, so you’ve managed to build some inner confidence. You’ve developed a deep belief that no one is better than you and you don’t have to compare.
You step into the gym for the first time to get a nice pump going on. It’s your first time, so you’re quite inexperienced. Your arrogant friend sees you and decides to do some beta male comparison.
“Hey bro, what’s your personal best on the military press?” He asks.
You reply that you haven’t tried it yet. Your friend tells that he can military press his body weight 10 times in a row.
Instead of getting impressed, you tease them by saying: “Cool, I thought you could do 15 reps at least. After all, you’ve been posting about it on social media for a year.”
If you set the frame that he should be better than he’s currently, his ego takes a blow. You can do this in anything he brags about. After all, he wants to feel capable and validated. If you don’t give him validation, he feels stupid.
He’ll probably start arguing with you because you’re less capable, but it doesn’t matter. Simply because you don’t need to compare.
10 How to deal with jealousy
What about if you become jealous? After all, we all have bad days when we don’t feel good about ourselves. Well, there’s a simple trick to overcome jealousy.
It’s about replacing a comparing mindset with a cooperative one. I use this same example in my ebook, Godlike Confidence Blueprint. Here’s comparing and cooperative mindset in action. Let’s say we have a guy named James who goes to the gym:
Example #1: comparing James
James has had a rough day at work, so he decides to go to the gym. When he’s bench-pressing, his friend Jack comes and asks about his personal best.
James replies that it’s 80kg. Jack starts laughing and brags about his 120. James, with the comparing mindset, gets frustrated and argues back. He tries to prove himself without succeeding because Jack has been lifting way longer.
Eventually, James leaves the gym. Frustrated and pissed. On a way to the locker room, he sees his coworker Mark, who’s pressing an impressive 160. He’s a professional powerlifter.
“He must be on steroids, what a loser…” Thinks James and becomes even more frustrated.
Example #2: Cooperative James
When Jack brags, James replies with a smirk: “Congrats man, are you putting that to your CV?”
Eventually, Jack leaves because he couldn’t get a reaction from James. James continues with his workout when he sees Mark. Mark is alone at the gym because his friend couldn’t join him.
James engages in a conversation with Mark with a cooperative mindset.
“Hey, Mark. I see you’re lifting quite a load. Do you need a spotter?”
Mark becomes happy because, with a spotter, he can go until failure and perform an intense workout. After a few sets, Mark thanks James. James decides to ask for some tips about heavy lifting.
Grateful Mark shares all his secrets about getting stronger. Everything from proper exercises to nutrition. James writes the tips down and keeps practicing. Eventually, he’s stronger than Jack who wastes his time on ego lifting and bragging.
With the cooperative mindset, you leverage everybody instead of comparing. Even when James was weaker than Mark, he had something to provide. Because of that, Mark returned the favor and both men benefitted.
The cooperative mindset puts you in the same line like everyone else. You can feel good about yourself because you’re both giving and receiving help. It’s about being equal and leveraging everyone’s capabilities.
11 Deal with arrogant people by focusing on yourself
Arrogant people use too much energy on bragging and comparing. Thus, they don’t use their full potential to advance their own goals.
If you can ignore them and focus on yourself, you’ll gain the upper hand. Instead of comparing, channel that energy into your goals. In the long run, you’ll achieve the results and arrogant people have nothing to brag about.
It’s simple as that. Losers focus on winners. Winners focus on themselves. The only person you should compare yourself to is what you were yesterday.
Psychology of an arrogant person
Arrogant people are arrogant for many reasons. There are some common examples like these:
- They need to prove themselves to get validation.
- They need to compare to feel good about themselves.
- They enjoy putting others down, which is pathetic.
Being arrogant is a trait that can look like confidence, but it’s not. You must learn to see the underlying motives, which signal the harsh truth. Arrogant people are insecure.
If you’re a truly confident alpha male, you don’t need to put others down. You don’t need to brag or compare. Simply because your own validation is enough.
This is the key to dealing with arrogant people. Don’t give them validation. Don’t take them seriously. Just ignore them and focus on yourself. If you really need to, call them out and put them back in their place.
How to deal with arrogant people – Summary
Dealing with arrogant people isn’t rocket science. The best way to do it is to build inner confidence. When you have it, you don’t even feel like stepping into their game. That’s because you have better things to do.
I’ve faced arrogant people in my life. Because I’ve taken time to develop my confidence, I didn’t even feel like arguing back. I even found them quite funny.
It’s fun to watch overly confident people, knowing that their ego will take a blow sooner or later. The world has its ways to deal with arrogance. So, leave the work for it and focus on yourself.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. With this said, I see you in the next post.