How To Confess To Your Crush – The RIGHT Way

by Veikko Arvonen // January 5 // 0 Comments
how to confess to your crush

Getting the courage to confess to your crush can be one of the scariest things you can imagine. I’ve been there, my friends have been there, maybe you’re there right now.

If so, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, I’ll share how to confess to your crush in the right way. The way that doesn’t make things awkward, make you the class clown, or cause any other unwanted consequences.

Maybe you’re a person with decent social skills and charisma, and you just want to make sure you do everything well. Or, maybe the thought of confessing makes you sweat like a marathon runner. Either way, don’t worry. I got your back, my friend. Let’s begin.

How to confess to your crush

I’m sure you’re willing to know what the right way is. Should you casually send them a message? Should you design a blueprint for the perfect moment and do it in front of everybody? Should you book dinner at a five-star restaurant?

No. It’s none of these tips. Here’s how you confess to your crush: You don’t.

“What do you mean you don’t?” Simple. The right way to approach your crush is not to confess it to their face. It’s not smooth, attractive, and it has a very high failure rate.

If you’ve been living in a bubble, thinking you should do that, it’s time to break out of there. All the Disney movies have done a phenomenal job at convincing you that the right way to get the girl is to do everything for her. You should keep the door open, buy flowers, always agree with her… You name it. That couldn’t be further away from the truth.

See, if you just confess to your crush out of nowhere, it’s random, and can become awkward pretty easily. Basically, you give away all your power when you do this. You lose all your mystics and many more traits that make you attractive. When doing this, you put the other person on a pedestal, which is a massive mistake in dating. That’s not a good conversation.

The wrong state of mind

How to not confess to your crush
How to not confess to your crush

If you’re about to confess to your crush, you’re already on the losing side. Confessing out of nowhere signals that your happiness is dependent on them. You’ve driven yourself in a corner where you must confess, which signals neediness, desperation, and a lack of being comfortable with just yourself. Those are some of the most unattractive traits a human can have.

Secondly, confessing to a crush makes you too available. Humans are hardwired to pursue something that retreats from them. This is why the “beta orbitters” and “nice guys” end up finishing last. In extreme cases, they get manipulated and used, while the “bad boys” who are on their own journey get lucky with barely any effort.

In a worst-case scenario, confessing to your crush can shock them and make them super uncomfortable. Imagine you’ve been a friend with someone for ten years. Suddenly, they confess their love and pass the ball to you. You realize that during the past years, they’ve been fantasizing about you every night. It can even be creepy.

Ask any girl about guys that give their everything for them. You’ll probably receive answers like “it’s kinda cute”, or “they’re adorable”. Cute? Adorable? Are those traits that make her dream about you? Of course not.

The right state of mind

When approaching your crush, your mentality determines a lot. If you feel like you need them to be happy, you’re screwed. When approaching, your state of mind should be something like this:

“I want to know that person better because I find him/her very attractive. If they don’t like me, that’s OK. It’s their loss. I still have a fucking awesome life. If the answer is yes, great! Let’s see how it goes.”

You should want them to be a part of your life but never need them. When you adapt this mindset, you can only win. Rejection is better than regretting wasted opportunities. 

Before even thinking about confessing to your crush, make sure that you have the right state of mind. This will both skyrocket your changes and maintain your mental health.

How to approach your crush

Now that you know that confessing your love isn’t the right way, you probably want to know what is.

Here’s the thing: When approaching your crush, you’ll need to be assertive, but smooth.

If you’re not assertive enough, they may not even realize you like them. Thus, you’ll end up in a friend zone pretty quickly. On the other hand, being too straightforward puts you in a needy position and makes you lose all your mystics. It can even make you creepy and push your crush away.

When approaching, let your actions speak and see how they respond. Asking them to do something together is a great way. Also, spending time with them in a party, or otherwise sexualized environment is a great way to approach them and analyze the situations.

Consider flirting with them and doing other things that make your interest somewhat apparent. When doing this, see how they respond. If they flirt back and want to go on a date with you, great!

When you do this smoothly, you signal the following thing: You are confident enough to make your attraction apparent, but you have enough social skills to keep it casual. Even if you get rejected, things don’t get awkward. After all, nobody said anything about being totally in love.

When you flirt and approach, the responses you get give you information. Based on that information, decide whether you should back off or do it more. When you combine this with the right mentality a.k.a not giving a fuck if they like you or not, this can even become funny.

Things to remember when confessing to your crush

First of all, you shouldn’t “confess” anything. In some cases, confessing may be your last option, just like going all-in with a decent poker hand. You either win everything or lose everything. 

Just to make sure, flirting, dating, and approaching people is a broad topic. There are many great blogs covering that topic in depth. So, giving you all the information here is impossible. However, I’ll give you some fundamentals to get you well started. 

Now that you’ve realized why dating advice from Disney movies don’t work and what to do instead, here are some tools to help you:


Even a dummy knows that you’re going to need confidence if you want to confess anything to your crush. Being confident comes down with a simple principle: 

When you know that you can enter a situation and end up being fine regardless of the outcome, you’ll be confident.

How do you apply this principle here? Simple. When going out there, remember that all you can do is win. If your crush responds positively, great! Have fun. If the answer is negative, you’ll just stay in the same situation and continue your life.

What if your crush thinks you’re creepy and laughs at you. Who the hell cares? You shouldn’t care about others’ opinions. Every smart and confident person knows that you need to take risks sometimes. Risks include a chance to fail, which means you’ll fail sometimes.

If someone judges you for failing and using the opportunities that life presents you, they’re morons. Morons aren’t worth affecting your mood.

If approaching feels intimidating, it’s OK. When doing things for the first time, it’s natural to feel insecure. Just go out there and do it, and it gets easier. Remember that you’ll be fine.

A great state

Your state means your current level of mood. When you’re feeling miserable and awful, you’re in a bad state. When you’re feeling great, you’re in a good state. Simple.

When doing anything that includes confessing to your crush, make sure that you’re in a great state.

First of all, you’ll find it much more pleasurable when you’re in a good mood. Approaching people when you’re stuck inside your head leads to frustration. 

Secondly, being happy and outgoing is one of the most attractive traits you can have. Being socially skilled, charismatic, and smooth is tremendously easier that way. This skyrockets your odds of succeeding.

If you can make your crush laugh, you’re doing great. People like to be around people who make them feel great. When you’re in a great state, it’s contagious. You’ll also find it natural and easier to flirt and crack jokes.


Do you know what’s a great feeling? When you enter a situation, you know that all you can do is win. If you spice your interaction with some carefreeness, you’ll achieve this.

Carefreeness is a trait that will benefit many areas of your life, but it’s especially effective in dating. When you don’t give a damn whether the other person likes you or not, you can approach them with ease.

This will also make you attractive because of something called carefree charisma. It means that you act natural and congruent because you don’t need to overanalyze your every word choice etc. This goes with both texting and face to face. 

Keep your other areas checked

Honestly, it’s tough to stay carefree and non-needy if your crush is the only great thing in your life. It will also ruin your chances because few people want to join something that provides them nothing.

This is why it’s important to build a lifestyle that naturally makes you confident, carefree, and a happy person. Doing this is luckily easier than you may think. Start by taking care of the following things:

  • You got some kind of vision for the future (your studies, job, career…)
  • You have other goals that are meaningful to you
  • You got friends to hang out with
  • You’re taking care of your health with regular exercise.

It’s not rocket science. Just make sure that there are great things in your life. If not, don’t worry. You can always start improving. If you’re shy and awkward, practice social skills and meet new people. Just take a look at your life, decide what to improve, and do it. It’s easier than it sounds. A great place to start is reading my blog 😉

Handling rejection 

If you confess to your crush, there’s always a chance of getting rejected. No matter how smooth you are, you need to take some risks. Luckily, rejection is not a bad thing.

Getting rejected means that you have the guts to try something new. You’re bold enough to face the possibility of failure to achieve something great. Thus, don’t let anyone, ever tell you that there’s something bad with getting rejected.

People who claim that can’t have a too great life. Before even facing the risk of rejection, they reject themselves from trying! That’s why they don’t achieve anything.

When getting rejected, things don’t need to become awkward. Just stay cool and act like it’s not a big deal. Maybe de-escalate the situation with a joke or continue the interaction casually.

When you truly believe that it’s not embarrassing or awkward, it becomes your reality. Other people will sense your confidence and treat you accordingly. And if don’t, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is your opinion.

How to confess to your crush – FAQ

How to confess to your crush over text

Same principles. Be assertive but smooth. Approach them and see how they respond. Stay confident, carefree, and in a good state. Texting isn’t nearly as effective as face-to-face interactions, so use it as a tool to stay in touch and figure out when to meet.

“What if she’s out of my league?”

Then practice some “league jumping”. It means that you don’t give a damn about leagues or shallow traits, which puts you automatically to a higher league. Confidence, assertiveness, and carefreeness are more important than six-pack abs or being the captain of the sports team.

“I can’t get her out of my mind!”

If you’re truly desperate, you can confess to your crush as a last option. Just keep it casual and smooth. Don’t make it awkward. However, I recommend learning to control your emotions because otherwise your changes to get her are minimal. Neediness and being desperate are very unattractive traits.

Here’s what to do if this is the case: Focus on yourself. Improve your own life and stack up with opportunities. Create a lifestyle that is awesome even without her. Do anything you need to become carefree. After that, your chances to get her are way higher.

How to tell if your crush likes you

Reading signs of attraction is fairly complicated, but I’ll give the basics here. When talking with them, see how they act. If they smile, laugh at everything you say, and want to spend time with you, it’s a good sign.

Pay attention to the body language too. If they want to be close to you and enjoy being in touch physically, it’s great.

When texting, keeping a conversation going is a great sign. When figuring out plans together, see if they’re actively coming up with ideas and making plans forward. 

Above all, focus on how your crush acts. Not what he or she says.

How to confess to your crush – Summary

I hope this article gave you some clarity on how to deal with your crush. it can be a little complicated but it’s not rocket science.

Ultimately, maximizing your changes and confessing to your crush in the right way comes down to these steps:

  1. Achieve a proper, carefree state of mind and make sure your life is great even without them.
  2. Approach them with confidence and carefreeness. See how they react and act accordingly.

Doing this maximizes your chances and also minimizes stress and heartbreaks. Having feelings for someone is great, but only if they don’t control you. 

Ironically, the less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. With this said, I wish you a great day!

Veikko Arvonen is a blogger with a burning passion for self-development. In his blog, he shares battle-tested tips to become more confident, charismatic, attractive, and happier. Back in time, he got tired of being at the lower end of the pecking order and decided to change. Now, you can learn his lessons from this blog.