How To Be An Alpha Male – The Only 4 Steps You Need!

by Veikko Arvonen // November 6 // 0 Comments
How to be an alpha male

How to be an alpha male? Excellent question. If you’ve been into self-development and leveling up your life, you’ve probably heard the term before. Better yet, you’re wondering how to become an alpha male. If so, you’re in the right place, my friend.

Just to clarify what being an alpha male means, it’s not having the biggest muscles, prettiest partner, or the newest BMW. An alpha male (or female) is an individual at the top of the social hierarchy. Thus, they’re confident, assertive, attractive, respected, and successful. If this sounds confusing, check out my ultimate guide about alpha males before continuing.

An alpha male enjoys several benefits in every single area of his life because of these characteristics. Unlike in the past, being an alpha male is pretty much about your mindset that becomes your reality. Better yet, becoming one today is easier than ever! Today, I’ll share with you how to do that.

How to become an alpha male

I got some goood news and bad news. The bad news is that becoming an alpha male doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s fairly complicated progress. the good news is that it’s quite easy if you know what you’re doing.

Many self-development guides focus on detailed techniques such as standing up straight and being confident. The thing is, they don’t fix the underlying principles and require lots of constant focus. Sure, they work but they’re 100x more effective if you master the core principles first.

So, let’s start with the most important aspect of being an alpha male, which is your beliefs and mentality.

Alpha male beliefs – How do you see yourself?

The way you see yourself is the most important thing because it shapes everything that you do. The first thing you need to realize is that other people and the world around you see you how you see yourself.

If you see your flaws and weaknesses as a normal part of you, knowing that everyone has some, others will too. When you admit a mistake that you do and casually fix it, people will sense your confidence.

This is how alpha males see reality. They’re comfortable with not being perfect and thus, the world around them treats them like that. This leads to a positive spiral that amplifies their mindset due to positive results.

Above all, alphas understand that it’s not about how capable you are. It’s about how you carry out yourself and see yourself in different situations. Once you learn to do this, it’s like an invisible forcefield that turns everything to your advantage. This is why mastering your beliefs is so damn important.

Changing your beliefs

You probably have lots of beliefs about yourself. Some of them may be working against you because you’re not seeing yourself as you should be. You may have beliefs like the following ones:

  • My flaws make me a bad person
  • I’m ashamed of my tough past and it determines me
  • I need others’ approval to feel good about myself
  • My failures lower my worth
  • Other people who are doing great are better than me

If you believe this, the world around you will believe it too, so consider replacing these beliefs with better ones like these:

  • I have flaws just like everyone else. It’s OK to have and admit them
  • I didn’t choose the problems I had in past and they don’t determine me. In fact, they’ve made me stronger than many others.
  • Fuck other people’s approval. They don’t know me well enough to judge me. My own is all I need.
  • I fail because I have the guts to try new things. My failures will lead me to mastery.
  • I’m no better or worse than anyone else. We all have strengths and flaws. Period.

Once you let your new beliefs sink in, they’ll start to change your reality. Again, it’s all about how you carry out yourself, and only you can change it!

Alpha male examples

With your new beliefs, you can make awkward situations work in your favor. Let’s say you’re approaching a girl in the club and get brutally rejected in front of your friends. Instead of taking it personally, you’re happy because you had the guts to try, and your social skills improved. If this is how you react to the situation, your friends will see it too.

Or maybe you’re giving a presentation, forget your lines, and everyone starts laughing. Instead of trying to hide it, you say something like “Good to see you’re having fun, I should probably freeze more because these presentations are normally so boring!” You believe that it’s OK to fail and carry out yourself with a nice joke. Thus, others respect you more.

It may not happen instantly, but in the long run, people will sense that something has changed in you. Changing your beliefs will eventually change your reality. This is what being an alpha male is about.

Alpha mindset and behavior

Your beliefs are a part of your mindset. Once you have proper beliefs, your mindset follows. An alpha mindset is a combination of many different beliefs, values, knowledge that helps you to become an alpha male.

I’ve got an entire article on the alpha mindset, but I’ll go through the basics here. Once you’ve mastered your beliefs, you’ve already halfway there, but let’s take a look at the most important factors of the alpha mindset. Go through them and start implementing these values and knowledge into your life.

Alpha mindset

Alpha males are confident in themselves knowing that they don’t have to compare themselves to anyone else. They emphasize their strengths but never brag. When an alpha male walks into a room, he sees everyone as equal. He knows that shallow traits like money, fitness, and status don’t determine someone’s worth.

The goal of an alpha male in a social situation is to raise the overall atmosphere by providing value to the interaction. He cracks jokes, raises other people up, and actively seeks solutions to make the interaction better.

When people compare themselves, an alpha male doesn’t feel like he has to do it to prove himself. He raises above the pressures, knowing that everyone is good and bad at something. He actively helps people on things where he performs better and gathers knowledge from people who perform better than him.

If someone brags or puts other people down, an alpha male knows that they’re doing so because of their low self-esteem and urge to compare. Thus, they don’t even take them seriously.

Alphas treat people like they deserve to be treated. If someone humbly asks for their help, they help them. If someone stands next to them and wants to work together, they respect them. If someone treats them unfairly and fights, they defend and show no mercy.

Growth mindset

An alpha male keeps constantly evolving in everything he does. He tries new things and opportunities knowing that he’ll either succeed or fail, which teaches valuable lessons. He considers failure and challenges excellent teachers that will eventually lead to mastery.

Alphas know that they can always improve in every area of life, and their capabilities are meant to be improved. Whether they suck at something or perform great, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that they’re constantly improving and learning. Giving something a shot and failing is better than regretting wasted opportunities.

Being an alpha male means being both humble and proud. You’ll need to be humble because there’s always something you can learn. You’ll also have to be proud because you’re constantly improving and this mentality sets you apart from average people.

Leadership and solution seeking

Alphas are natural leaders. If there’s a situation that requires leadership, an alpha makes the decision that benefits everybody. This can be solving a common problem or calling out things that need to be changed.

During the conflict, an alpha male stays calm. He never wants to start one but is always prepared to do so if someone behaves unfairly. Alphas are ready to protect weaker people and challenge assholes to put them back to their place. They always solve conflicts verbally and use violence only as a defense.

Alphas know that bad things can and will happen. They can’t control them, but they can control how they react. When accidents or inconveniences happen, alphas take action to fix things and move on.

They know that the world is mostly a great place. Bad things just separate better. Rather than dwelling in past, alphas fix things and focus on their own path. They either solve the problem or leave the problem, depending on what can and must be done.

Sense of purpose

One of the most important alpha male traits is a fulfilling sense of purpose. Your purpose may be a mission that you’ve chosen to make the world a better place or just a specific goal. As long as it inspires you, it’s good and it can also change.

When you create a clear purpose, a goal, or a vision that you execute, you’ll become way more attractive and happier. On top of that, every small inconvenience becomes irrelevant because you got better things to do.

Maybe set a goal to be in incredible shape next summer. Maybe inspire yourself to score great grades so you can get to that law school you want. Or maybe start a business that can provide you financial freedom after five years.

Again, it doesn’t matter what your purpose is as long as it puts fire in your belly and makes your life feel inspiring.

Non-verbal communication

Did you know that 93% of the communication between individuals is carried out non-verbally? To be more specific, 55% is by body language, 38% by your vocal tonality, and only 7% is determined by what you say.

Thus, people will make decisions about you based on how confidently you talk and are maintaining strong eye contact. It’s funny when you realize all this. I remember when I went to a nightclub with my friend and we decided to pay attention to our non-verbal communication. And the results were amazing. People were more likely to come and talk to us and stick around!

I know this sounds weird, but trust me, it matters! An alpha male body language is open, confident, and relaxed. You should be grounded and comfortable wherever you are. Don’t just wander around and try to seek attention. Become the center of attention yourself!

Make sure to speak with an authoritative, calm, and clear voice. Don’t choke and speak too fast or use a high-pitched tonality. A lower tonality commands more respect.

In fact, nonverbal communication is so important that I wrote an entire article for you about it. I highly recommend checking it out here!

Alpha male habits

As you probably already know, your mindset is the most important part of being an alpha male is your mindset, but your habits also determine a lot. If you have a proper alpha mindset, you’re most likely tempted by implementing these habits.

Adding good habits to your alpha male evolution is like burning a candle from both ends. Let’s say you’ve always been skinny and insecure because of that. Once you start to build your alpha mindset, you’ll realize that it doesn’t matter because the ultimate confidence comes from inside.

However, you also start lifting weights (which is one of the alpha habits). Not to impress others. Just because you want to become physically stronger and enjoy improving yourself!

This creates a positive, upwards spiral. First, you’ll learn how to be confident with your flaws, but also start to work on them, which makes it even easier! And the best thing is, this goes with everything, not just physical fitness!

Anyway, here’s a quick list of alpha male habits that I recommend implementing into your life. Starting today:

  • Regular exercise 
  • Taking care of your appearance
  • Constantly working on your studies/career
  • Educating yourself by consuming great books and content
  • Taking care of your mental health (Meditation/mindfulness/gratitude…)
  • Practicing social skills and meeting new people
  • Constantly improving yourself in anything you do

By implementing these habits into your life, you’ll gain amazing results within a fairly short time. The key is about being consistent. If you stay patient and practice these for one year, you’ll probably be further than 95% of people you know. So, start taking action today! Building a proper lifestyle is important if you want to become an alpha male.

How to be an alpha male – 3 Stages

Becoming an alpha male is complicated progress, but there’s a certain pattern that many people follow when improving their alpha male characteristics. I like to call them three stages that are the following:

Stage one is where you start. You haven’t made any progress yet and you’re still living with your old mindset. You have tons of limiting beliefs that are holding you back from being an alpha male.

Stage two is when you start realizing how the world really works. You’re having epiphanies and insights that start to transform you. You realize that people see you how you see yourself and start to replace your old beliefs. 

Most importantly, you know that it starts from you, and realizing this gives you a buff of confidence. This is when you get excited about your new mindset and you’ve started to change.

Stage three is the ultimate goal. This is when you’ve implemented your new beliefs and habits for a while. The positive feedback from the world around you gives you even more confidence and urges to take more action. You’ve now seen proof that you’ve implemented these tips correctly and transformed who you are.

When you’re tracking your progress, keep these three stages in your mind. They’ll help you to have a clear vision.

How to become an alpha male – Summary

How to be an alpha male

Congratulations. By reading this article, you’ve already started your progress of becoming the best version of yourself. If I’ve done my job correctly, you’re already starting to move to the second stage of the evolution. 

However, going to the third one is all about you. You’re the one who needs to take action. You’re the one who must implement the new habits, take a look at your mindset, go out there, and practice.

See the picture above? That should give you some clarity on what to do to become an alpha male. Start with your underlying beliefs and then move higher and higher to the less important factors. Remember the three stages in all of the layers of the pyramid. Your goal is to reach level three on all of them.

The bottom line

You may be wondering how long will it take to become an alpha male, and the truth is complicated. See, a true alpha male is constantly improving and therefore never calls themselves a total alpha male. It’s a little paradoxical but that’s what it is.

What about me? Am I an alpha male? Well, during the past years I’ve developed many alpha male traits, but I still got much to learn. I still make mistakes and have moments when I’m in a bad mood and don’t feel like an alpha.

However, after seeing the results in my life, I feel confident enough to teach these tips to you. Being an alpha male is not about faking perfection. It’s about being OK with your current situation and constantly improving.

Even when you achieve the third stage in everything, you’ll still have haters who consider you a total beta.

That’s OK. Maybe they’re jealous, maybe they’ve had a false first impression, or maybe they’re just too stupid to realize what being an alpha male really means. Rather than thinking about them, become the alpha male of your own life.

Above all, becoming an alpha male doesn’t have a clear goal line. The best way to track your progress is to follow the three stages. You’ll make mistakes and have flaws regardless of your experience, and accepting that is a part of becoming an alpha male. So, don’t try to be perfect and don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

It’s not about perfection or a certain point in your development. It’s about constantly improving yourself and becoming a lifetime student in self-development.

With all this said, I wish you a great day!

Veikko Arvonen is a blogger with a burning passion for self-development. In his blog, he shares battle-tested tips to become more confident, charismatic, attractive, and happier. Back in time, he got tired of being at the lower end of the pecking order and decided to change. Now, you can learn his lessons from this blog.