9 Dating tips to transform your life

by Veikko Arvonen // May 16 // 0 Comments

9 dating tips to transform your life

describing what these dating tips could make your life look like

Today I’d like to review 9 dating tips to fundamentally change your dating game and increase both your results and happiness in general. These tips are rather a brief list of important fundamentals than fancy pick-up lines or techniques. That’s because I believe that mastering anything is more about core principles than fancy techniques.

One important area of life and self-development is dating and relationships, so learning the basics of advanced dating is crucial if you want to max out your life. These dating tips opened my eyes back in time and increased my results and inner game tremendously. If you want to do the same, read on.

How does dating work?

Before the actual tips, let’s take a look at how dating works. It’s not rocket science. Dating is all about meeting new people, interacting with them, sparking attraction, and seeing how it works out.

There’s not a specific pattern of how every dating interaction goes. You can meet new people in tons of different places like nightclubs, schools, or Tinder. Usually, someone (Often the man) approaches the other one and sees if they like each other.

There are a million ways how this could go, so it’s important to play it cool and not think too much. Usually the fewer fucks you give the more fucks you get.

Basic dating tips

As I said, these tips are rather core principles than fancy pick-up lines. If you master the fundamentals, you’ll naturally improve in more specific techniques and strategies. This goes with everything in life, especially dating.

If you’re a newbie, these tips will probably reshape the way you see dating and remove the scales from your eyes. Implementing these will not only ramp up your game (the ability to meet and attract new people) but also make you more attractive. Let’s begin.

1. Stack up the opportunities

No, I’m not talking about cheating on people. NEVER do that. I’m talking about having opportunities. At the early stages of dating it’s important to have more than one option available. This means texting with several different girls/boys and possibly going out with them.

There’s nothing unethical about it as long as you’re not getting serious with someone. As long as it’s nothing serious, you should have multiple options available.

Some people are notorious for ghosting you after the first date etc. Having multiple options makes sure that this doesn’t make you desperate and therefore making you more attractive and happy.

If things don’t work out with someone, it’s not a big deal. Just move on to the next one. This actually maximizes your opportunities to succeed with the first one.

2. Never become needy

Have you seen those Disney movies where a prince goes across the world for one girl? That’s cute but never do it in real life.

One of the most unattractive traits in dating is neediness. When you’re desperate for someone’s attention and approval, they’re going to find you very unattractive and annoying.

This will both ruin your chances with the other person and completely screw up your happiness because they reject you. In a worst-case scenario, this leads to problems with your mental health.

Whatever you do, don’t become desperate and needy. Wanting a specific person in your life is great, but you should never need them. Especially if you’re a male. I’ve been there and it never ended up well :D.

Luckily, avoiding this problem is easy when you follow the other dating tips from this post and don’t expect too much too soon.

3. Have other areas of your life check

Finding a girl or boy in your life should be like purchasing a protein shake after a workout. It’s a great addition, but not necessary. It’s more important to take care of your own life (or the quality of the workout) first.

See, when you have the other areas of your life check, you become naturally more attractive and less needy. When you have a bunch of great friends, hobbies, and a career plan, losing one girl after the first date doesn’t feel that bad.

Unlike falling in love, getting forward in life means investing your emotions and energy into things you can control. Also, if you want to be happy and attractive, you need to have other great things in your life than just another person. Here’s a quick list of things to take care of:

Health and fitness

Taking care of your physical health makes you feel better in any way possible. Needless to say, people also find fit people more attractive. Be sure to exercise constantly or practice sports that you enjoy.


You don’t need to be a millionaire to attract other people, but being financially stable is important. Money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it’s a great tool to improve your life. Be sure to work enough to make enough money to live, or start a business if you’re ambitious.

Social life

Every person needs friends. Even when in a relationship, remember to stay in contact with your friends and get together sometimes. Do sports together, hand out, and party. Always maintain good relationships with friends.

Inner game

Every person on this planet has personal problems. It’s normal to feel bad sometimes, but dealing with the things inside your head is crucial. Be sure to maintain a positive attitude to life and master your mentality, because it’s your greatest asset. Positivity is one of the most attractive traits you can have.

These are some core areas to master in life. A cool thing is that once you master one of them, they start to amplify each other.

4. Don’t be afraid of rejection

Many people have this stupid idea that it’s embarrassing to get rejected by someone. The truth is that the risk of rejection is necessary to take if you want to succeed.

When you get rejected, play it cool and move on. Carry out yourself with dignity and self-respect and you’ll be fine. In the end, it’s their loss 😉 Don’t fear rejection, fear never knowing what you could have achieved.

5. Have standards and self-respect

This may be a little tricky part if you’re a newbie, but trust me, it gets easier. When dating, you need to have standards and respect yourself. If you see yourself as a person not worthy of dating, other people will see that in your behavior.

Once you improve your life, this step becomes naturally easier, but remember that true confidence is not about your six-pack abs or fancy cars. It’s about knowing that you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone and all you need is your own approval.

Don’t let some wannabe-alpha males, shallow losers, or gold-diggers tell you otherwise. The world sees you as you see yourself. Know that you deserve a high-quality partner and have standards. Being single is better than being in a shitty relationship.

6. Always hold your frame

Your frame means the way you see yourself, other people, and the world around you. Holding it is crucial when dating. You may face arrogant girls giving you shit tests, jealous beta-males trying to pull you down, and manipulative gold-diggers and fuck-boys trying to use you.

It’s important to not let them get inside your head. To be honest, it’s easier said than done, but remembering the following tips will help you:

  • Never change your behavior to seek validation or approval
  • When being nice (giving compliments or offering drinks), don’t expect anything (like getting laid) in return.
  • Other people’s opinions don’t matter, true confidence comes from inside
  • Those who try to act tough and boast most, are the most insecure ones.

When someone is attacking your frame (doing things I mentioned earlier), remember to not react emotionally and hold on to your mentality. If someone treats you badly, cut them from your life. 

People with firm boundaries and confidence are very attractive and happier in general. They focus on themselves and don’t waste their time on useless shit like worrying about what an arrogant boy or manipulative girl thinks about them. 

In a nutshell, take nothing personally and master your frame (the way you see yourself and others).

7. Be active but carefree

These tips so far have been mostly about becoming more attractive and mastering some fundamentals, but none of them matter if you’re not meeting anybody.

When dating you have to actively meet new people. This can be done with online dating apps or going out regularly. Also, if you’re a student, there are probably lots of new groups and events. Be sure to attend them.

On the other hand, you shouldn’t be actively seeking a specific person or make that you’re top priority. Doing that violates more than one of these tips, especially the second one.

Remember to actively reach out to new people, but stay carefree and focus on your own goals above everything else.

8. Don’t overthink

Overthinking will ruin your dating badly if you let it. This means getting stuck inside your head when texting someone or overanalyzing the results you got from face-to-face interaction.

If you always try to type a “perfect” message or worry about whether or not you’re getting a second date, you’ll subconsciously become needy and unauthentic.

If you stay carefree and just go with the flow, you’ll naturally gain a so-called “carefree charisma”. Executing this tip is easy, once you stack up with opportunities and make sure that the other areas of your life are check.

Whatever you do, don’t overthink. You’ll get the best results by not thinking too much, so act accordingly.

9. Keep improving

Just like other areas of life, dating is something you should constantly improve in your life. Keep reaching out to new people, keep improving your social skills and attractiveness, and learn from mistakes.

Once you implement these tips, your dating should become enjoyable since your getting better results and you’re enjoying it more.

Mastering any skill needs repetition, so put yourself out there and take action. Learning to overcome your approach anxiety and hold on to your frame is also self-development at its finest.

Dating tips FAQ

A magnifying glass about frequently asked questions about dating tips

What should you not do when dating?

This is a pretty broad topic and probably deserves its own article in the future, but here are the most important things:

  • Do not become needy for another person.
  • Don’t take things personally or overthink.
  • Don’t sacrifice your firm boundaries for another person. Never try to prove yourself or seek validation.
  • Don’t forget to keep other areas of your life check.

What should you not do in the early stages of dating?

Pretty much the same as above, except it’s even more important to not be needy and have enough options and other activities in your life.

Online dating tips / how to meet people online?

In online dating, your looks play the biggest role since they only see your pictures first. Be sure to put effort into your looks and the quality of your photos.

Another thing is your bio. Your bio should tell something about yourself, but also be funny and carry out the best traits of your personality. It’s even better if you can come up with something that gives other people a reason to send you a message.

When messaging back and forth, be sure to step out from others (a.k.a texting something more creative than “hey what’s up?”).

Above all, when playing Tinder be sure to text with many people at the same time and never overthink, because most conversations don’t lead to anything.

How to meet “the one”?

To be honest, I don’t believe that a soulmate or the one exists. There are only better or worse matches for you, some of which may feel like true love due to your emotions.

Just keep having fun and improving until you find someone with who you want to spend a long time and settle down.


The truth is that dating is an extremely wide topic, and therefore there’s so much more to learn. I’ll probably write more specific posts about the different areas of dating.

These dating tips are supposed to get you started and ramp up your dating by focusing on core principles. However, to truly master anything in life you have to go and do it yourself, so take action based on these tips!

Feel free to review them anytime when necessary or ask me any questions! Hope you enjoyed it, see you next time!

Veikko Arvonen is a blogger with a burning passion for self-development. In his blog, he shares battle-tested tips to become more confident, charismatic, attractive, and happier. Back in time, he got tired of being at the lower end of the pecking order and decided to change. Now, you can learn his lessons from this blog.