Boost confidence instantly – 3 effective mindset fixes

by Veikko Arvonen // May 2 // 4 Comments

Boost confidence instantly – 3 mindset fixes

A man who's standing confidently
Your confidence begins from your mindset

How to boost confidence? Yes! one of my favourite topics.

I was trying to figure out a topic for the next post when I suddenly came up with an insight. Too many people suffer from low confidence and that’s a destructive characteristic for all aspects of your life. This phenomenon is common especially, with young people. U know, from teenager to early twenties. And as you all probably guessed, I’ve been there too.

Back in my teenage years, there were times when I cared way too much about how other people sew me. Some minor insults or comments could lower my mood tremendously, even if they were nothing personal. I thought that other people’s opinions and my failures at certain things would determine my worth, and that was one of the most retarded ideas I’ve ever had. So, keep reading if you can relate.

If you have this issue, I have good news for you. Today I’m sharing with you three mindset fixes that you can use to boost your inner confidence INSTANTLY. But first, let’s take a look at why someone may have low confidence.

Table Of Contents

What causes low confidence?

To be honest, I don’t have a flawless theory, but I have some ideas. Firstly, social groups at a young age can be quite competitive. Many young people are still developing their mindset, so even small useless opinions can have a negative effect. Secondly, there are always some bullies or assholes who are putting other people down, so they can feel better about themselves. Some people do this completely intentionally, some just claim to be “messin around”, but in reality, most people see them as assholes.

Another great example is social media. Instagram and Snapchat stories are full of people doing some dope shit, although that’s the top 1% of their life. People share photos of festivals and parties but don’t share their hangover or destroyed bank account the next morning. And then we have these fitness models and celebrities with their photo-shopped pictures. 

Most of today’s social media posts basically say “Look at me! I have an awesome life!”. Let people post their peaks but never let that fool you. Now, let’s take a look at the actual ways to fix this problem

1. Boost confidence by becoming confident in yourself

Even achievers like him have flaws

You know that feeling when you’re down and you see someone else doing great? And you think that he/she got it so good? Well, let me tell you that it’s bullshit. Nobody has a perfect life. Even the most charismatic, successful people have flaws, something that they don’t like about themselves.

See, whatever accomplishments you or someone else has, there’s always something they want more or what they hate about themselves. That’s human nature. We’re biologically programmed to always want more and focus on what we don’t have. 

This is why so many celebrities dream about a normal life without paparazzis and bloodthirsty media when many average people wanted to be like them.

Take a look at the people around you. Everybody of them has something they’re unsatisfied with. I don’t care if you’re looking at your parents, the “coolest” dude in your social circle, or a world-famous rockstar. You see only their best parts because not many people like to share their weaknesses. Someone who is always bragging about their “perfect” life, is probably the one with the most problems. More about that later…

Realizing this will boost your confidence because whatever negative feeling you may have, every other people feel like that too sometimes. This insight was probably the most important one to skyrocket my confidence. Here’s a good rule of thumb, whatever problem you have, it’s probably way more common than you think.

Why shallow traits aren’t necessary to boost confidence

Take a time to think about traits that in someone’s opinion, could define someone’s worth. Being in a good shape, having a good career/future plans, money, lot’s of friends…

Having these in your life is always good and you should have these kinds of goals, but ask yourself: Why the fuck would someone better looking or richer be a better human than me? As I said before, everyone got their flaws. They have something they’re proud of and something they don’t like about themselves.

See, everybody’s human. We’re all at some point in our journey to whatever we’re trying to achieve. Everybody was sometimes a beginner. If you see someone who’s more successful in any way than you, don’t compare your chapter one to someone’s chapter 20.

Nobody, except total dumbass, judges you based on your shallow achievements, as long as you are confident with your strengths and weaknesses. 

Realizing this will boost your confidence because whatever negative feeling you may have, every other people feel like that too sometimes. This insight was probably the most important one to skyrocket my confidence. 

This leads me to my next point

2. The world sees you like you see yourself

A lion sees himself as a king, so he is the king. Even when zebras dislike him

Now pay attention, because this is the biggest lesson I’ve ever learned in life. It’s this: Whatever strengths and flaws you have, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is how you carry out yourself and how you feel about yourself.

Let’s say that you’re a skinny guy who goes to the gym for the first time. You decide to get a nice pump going and pick a weight. After a while, a jacked guy comes with a smile on his face and says: “Wow I’ve never seen someone that skinny!”. Instead of trying to shoot some clever comeback you just look at him and calmly respond: “That’s the exact reason why I’m here”.

After that you continue your set with the following thought: “I’m way skinnier than him but that doesn’t make him a better person. There are things in this world that he sucks at. I’m skinny because I’ve never lifted before, and I’m here to fix that.”

The other guy would probably compliment you for letting go of your ego and deciding to start lifting. Maybe even share some gym tips. If you carry out yourself like this with your weaknesses, people will begin to respect you for being so confident in yourself. It may not happen instantly and there are always people trying to put you down, but once you master your own opinion, others’ will follow eventually.

Do you see how effective this technique is? If you have the guts to admit your weaknesses and you don’t feel like proving anything to anyone, you’ll instantly become a more attractive and respected person. And once you realize that, your confidence will skyrocket. And the best thing is that you can execute this step immediately! If you’re unsure where to start, go back to my first point and let it sink in.

I’ll share with you a quick story about how I used this principle to my advantage back in highschool.

It was my senior year and there was a huge party, where I hooked up with a girl. We talked a lot, got some drinks, and made out, just like many single people do at highschool parties. It turned out that she had had way more experience with boys than I had had with girls, which could be a bad thing for me from a certain point of view.

I had sometimes heard that girls prefer older dudes with more experience etc. Now I don’t know if that’s completely true so you tell me ladies. Anyway, I remembered that all that matters is how I carry out myself so I decided to act like it. I kept in mind that I don’t have to prove to anything her and I have an advantage over everybody because I’ve realized this and mastered my mindset.

Later in the night, when everybody started to calm down and we decided to go talk to others, she whispered in my ear: “Wow, you really knew how to not make this awkward”.

See that? It’s all about how you carry out yourself.

3. Boost confidence by recognizing fake confidence

Confidence is silent, insecurity is loud

Learning to spot behavior that signals fake confidence is important in order to boost yours because this makes you immune to people who try to put you down.

Writing this last one is probably my favorite part because seeing this phenomenon in action is pretty hilarious. Tell me, have you ever seen someone who’s always boasting about his/her achievements and using every opportunity to stand out like a stuntman? This is an example of fake confidence.

If someone tries to put other people down to feel better about themselves or boast about their strengths to gain approval, it’s a sign of fake confidence. This may impress some people, but someone who really is confident can see through it.

Would someone who’s truly, I mean TRULY, confident about themselves feel like bragging like that? Hell no.

Note: Being proud of your accomplishments is always good and if something comes up that you can use to your advantage, you should do that. Just don’t try to prove yourself or impress anyone, because you don’t have to. Learning this slight difference between pathetic bragging and healthy egoism is crucial.

Examples of fake confidence

Remember that guy at the gym in the previous chapter? What if he had just continued insulting? That would have been an example of an asshole. A type of people that try to put you down and succeed if you let them. There are several reasons why someone could be an asshole. They could try to make you look bad to feel better about themselves or just generally be a complete idiot.

Whatever the reason is, someone who’s truly confident doesn’t feel like putting other people down. Dealing with assholes is not the topic of this article, but I’ll give you some tips right here. Sometimes you can comfort them and sometimes ignore them.

However, the crucial thing to realize is that assholes are some of the biggest losers ever seen. They don’t have the guts to get on a higher level on whatever they’re doing, so they try to bring you down. They use all their energy to bring negative vibes into the world. If that’s not pathetic as fuck, I don’t know what is.

If you encounter an asshole, just focus on yourself and perform better in anything that you do. That will destroy those losers.

Another type of fake confidence is an urge to prove something to others. This can occur in many situations such as an ex trying to make you jealous with their new date or someone always trying to be the center of attention. I’ve seen this phenomenon many times. A girl trying to make me jealous or someone claiming to be better than me.

Does this make me feel upset? No. I’m actually flattered that someone is so desperately fighting for my attention/approval. This is how you should think also. I remember when a friend of mine told me that her boyfriend didn’t like that she was spending time with me because she should hang out with “better people”.

Someone talking shit behind my back was annoying but I stayed calm because I knew that it was a clear sign of fake confidence. Later my friend even told me that her boyfriend seems to be jealous of me. Pretty cute right? Learn to spot fake confidence like this and yours will raise.

Boost confidence -Summary

Those were three steps that used to have a massive positive effect on my confidence and life in general back in time. These steps are something that you can do immediately because everything is done inside your head. Let’s review them one more time:

  • Realizing that everyone has their own flaws and insecurities
  • Realizing that others’ opinions are based on how you carry out yourself.
  • Learning the difference between fake and real confidence

Building true confidence takes time, but these insights will give you a nice kick-start. If you want to read my ultimate guide for confidence, click here.

If this is new to you, it may be an eye-opening experience. It may be a good idea to take some quiet time to totally understand these principles and try applying them in your own life. I believe that realizing these facts will instantly boost your confidence, but to master it, you need to practice these things in action. However, when you start seeing the world in a new way, there’s an exciting journey waiting for you. Good luck!

As always, let me know what do you think, and feel free to ask if you have any questions. See you next time!

Veikko Arvonen is a blogger with a burning passion for self-development. In his blog, he shares battle-tested tips to become more confident, charismatic, attractive, and happier. Back in time, he got tired of being at the lower end of the pecking order and decided to change. Now, you can learn his lessons from this blog.