Confidence and dealing with insecurities are one of my favorite topics to write about. The reason I like to share advice for an insecure person is that I’ve overcome similar problems in my past.
I get it. Being insecure sucks. Maybe you have had negative experiences in your past that have shattered your self-esteem, or maybe you’re dealing with a nasty heartbreak and your confidence is gone. Or something completely different.
So, if you’re having similar problems, I got good news for you. Insecurity is something that you can get rid of. I’ll even share how you can use it to your advantage at the end of this article, so stay tuned!
It probably won’t happen overnight, without any effort, but it will be worth it. After all, the pain of being insecure for the rest of your life is worse than dealing with it. So, what do you think? Maybe it’s time to get rid of your insecurity.
What causes your insecurity?
A great piece of advice for an insecure person is to track the insecurity to its roots. It’s way easier to deal with it once you know what causes it. Chances are there’s something on the mental side causing it.
It can be pretty much anything. For me, it used to be that I cared way too much about other people’s opinions, and they weren’t always positive.
You have to ask yourself what causes your insecurity. Maybe you were bullied for several years and your confidence is gone. Maybe you’ve been dealing with inner problems and you’re ashamed of that. Or, it can be something as simple as being unsatisfied with your physical appearance.
Before reading on, figure out if something is lurking in your mind that causes insecurity. Be honest with yourself and don’t be shamed. It’s important to be completely aware of your problems so you can deal with them.
Dealing with your inner shit
Now that you’ve found the roots of your insecurities, it’s time to deal with them. Whatever your problem is, I want you to understand that everybody has problems and flaws. People just don’t like to show them, and it’s easy to get stuck inside your head. Especially today when social media is displaying the top 1% of everyone’s lives.
One thing that confident people do is that they’re secure with their flaws. A great piece of advice for an insecure person is to do the same.
You’ll have to accept whatever negative experiences you’ve had in your life and realize that they don’t make you a worse person. You can’t change your past but you can change the present.
Rather than dwelling in your insecurity, take action to fix it. Whatever problem or flaw you have, admit it to yourself. It doesn’t make you a bad human because everybody has flaws.
Changing the way you think
Maybe you’ve been bullied for several years and those assholes have destroyed your confidence. But think about it, does it tell more about you or more about them?
Bullies and haters are the most pathetic losers ever because they put weaker people down to feel better about themselves. Those kinds of losers aren’t worthy of your mental energy, so don’t let them determine you. Maybe you think that you’re a loser because they bully you, but they are the real losers with most problems.
What if you’ve struggled with other kinds of problems like depression or abusive parents. Rather than finding it embarrassing, think about how strong you’ve become when you had to deal with them.
Nobody chooses to have those kinds of problems, so it’s not your fault. Everybody who judges people because of those things don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.
One more example. Maybe you’re overweight and envy the jocks at your high school. Again, shallow traits like fitness don’t make anyone a worse person or determine their worth.
Anyone who compares their strengths to your flaws is the insecure little kid.
Do you get my advice for an insecure person? You have to figure out what causes your insecurity, accept that you have flaws just like everybody else, and focus on the present.
The right mindset
Now that you’ve started to deal with the roots of your insecurity, it’s time to change your mindset. First of all, you have to be secure with your flaws. If you let the last chapter sinks in, you’ve probably halfway there.
A quick recap, remember that everyone has flaws and something they dislike about themselves. They just don’t like to show it and that’s why it’s easy to feel like you’re alone and others are doing great.
However, you may have more reasons for your insecurity than something in your past. Insecurity is something that can occur in many different situations like when approaching women or standing up in a social event. Often it’s because you have very little experience of doing a certain thing and you’re having a completely wrong point of view. More about that later.
You may think that a certain girl is out of your league or people are superior compared to you due to their abilities. You must let go of this toxic mindset because the way you see the world becomes your reality.
I want you to realize that no one is better than you. Even the most successful, charismatic people have their own negative traits. Shallow abilities like fitness, a fancy car, or a hot girlfriend don’t mean shit.
We’re all humans. Everybody was a beginner at some point and everybody sucks at something. I highly recommend you to pursue different goals like wealth and fitness, but true confidence comes from the inside. It’s not about filling the holes in your self-esteem with shallow stuff and boasting about it. It’s about being deeply secure with your own strengths and flaws.
Everything starts from your mindset. Start seeing all people equal with their different abilities and weaknesses. An arrogant girl who claims to be out of your league isn’t better than you. She just has bad taste 😉
And the fact that you realize this and rise above other people’s opinions makes you a so-called “next level” person with an advantage over others.
Ironically, when you start seeing yourself and the world around you this way, other people start too. Let this sink in.
Putting the advice for an insecure person to action
This is the point where the rubber hits the road. If you’ve understood my advice from previous chapters, you probably have a pretty good understanding of the right mindset and so on.
However, if you really want to deal with your insecurity once and for all, you’ll have to put yourself out there and practice. If you have a driving license, you’ve probably gone through training on how to drive a car and follow the rules.
I guess the first time you drove, you weren’t very confident doing that. However, when you’ve been driving for years, you’re probably pretty confident because you have the skill.
The same goes with dealing with your insecurities. Eventually, you’ll have to practice and gain confidence by learning. Mastering your mindset gives you a great start, but action is what get’s you forward.
You’ll have to approach a girl, stand up in an event, start a business, or whatever to become confident and good at it. Having the right mindset gives you a ton of help, but you will have to step out of your comfort zone.
You’ll make mistakes and face negative feelings but this is OK. They’ll teach you more than any blog post or youtube video will ever do. There’s nothing wrong with failing. What is not ok is to let your fear paralyze you.
Put yourself out there, knowing that whatever happens, you’ll eventually be fine. This is ultimate confidence. Failing is better than never trying and regretting wasted opportunities.
By the way, check out this article if you want to learn more about dealing with the fear of failure.
Working on your insecurities
As we learned before, the ultimate confidence comes from the inside. However, it doesn’t hurt to pay attention to the external factors. Your insecurity may be caused by a certain trait that you have. At this point, working on that trait will naturally fix it.
Maybe you’re insecure because you’re skinny? Buy a gym membership and start lifting! Maybe you wanted to be more popular. Go out there and meet new people!
Sometimes it’s that simple. Just figure out what is something you dislike about yourself and start working on that. Back in time when I was 15, I was unsatisfied because I didn’t have so many friends at school. What did I do? I started to meet new people, joined different events, and learned social skills.
As you can see, it’s good to both master your mentality and work on yourself. It’s like burning a candle from both ends.
In fact, the art of improving yourself and every aspect of your life is quite addictive. Once you figure out that you can achieve pretty much anything if you’re willing to put in the work, you’ll become unstoppable.
My biggest advice for an insecure person
Before finishing this article, I want to give you my last and greatest advice. It’s kinda like a motivational speech.
See, most people today don’t improve themselves because they think their life is OK and they don’t have enough motivation to put effort into it. You however are different. If you’ve read this far, chances are that you’re not satisfied with your current situation.
This gives you enough motivation to start improving your life and confidence and get addicted to it. Often the most successful people are those who have gone through tougher times in the past.
This is how you can turn your insecurity or whatever problems you have to your advantage. Yes, it will require effort, but it’s worth it.
A great place to start is my blog or my ultimate guide for confidence because I’ve been passionate about self-improvement for years, and I like sharing my tips with people who want to improve. This is what my blog Maxed Out 20s is all about! And this was my advice for an insecure person.
There’s an exciting journey ahead my friend, and I’d like to be a part of that. So, go out there and show the world what you’ve made of.
Also, feel free to comment or shoot me an email if you have any questions! I’ll see you next time.